Father’s Day Wisdom

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating… “I LOVE being a Dad.” No matter what kind of day I have at the office or what’s going on in the adult world, my kids can brighten my day with a smile, a giggle, or a hug. I am constantly amazed by how smart, funny, and beautiful they are, especially with my genes.

As I reflect on Father’s Day coming this weekend, I realize I’ve learned a lot from my kids:

• Anything that begins with, “(Child’s name) has something to tell you” is NEVER good news.
• You can yell your child’s name at the top of your lungs and they won’t hear you, but they can hear a text message on their phone anywhere in the house.
• Home Depot makes you have to pee.
• Siblings get along famously, until the phone rings and you’re on an important call. Then all hell will promptly break loose.
• If you give your children a choice between two things (i.e. where to go for dinner) they will always have opposite choices… ALWAYS!
• If your child volunteers to go with you to run errands, they always have an ulterior motive.
• For some reason, parental absence is considered permission.
• You can explain how you want a chore done in detail, and you’ll still end up redoing it yourself.
• If you plan an activity with your child, five minutes into it… one of their friends will knock on the door wanting to play.
• Kids have an uncanny way of knowing they’ll hate any food item without testing it.
• No matter how late your children are up the night before, they will be awake at the crack of dawn.
• Ketchup makes everything taste better.
• Lowes makes you have to pee.
• No matter how much money Dad & Mom pay for a vacation, kids would always rather swim in the hotel pool.
• There is some sort of magical transformation that occurs when your kid becomes a teen that turns you from funniest guy alive to biggest embarrassment.
• How bad your child “has to go” is directly proportionate to how far way the nearest restroom is.
• People that call them the “Terrible Twos” don’t let their kids live to be three.
• The volume level of your children in the morning is directly proportionate to how badly you want to sleep in.
• “Going before you leave the house” makes no difference.
• The same kids that have to be dragged out of bed at 7am to go to school, wake up on their own at 5am on the weekends.
• Kids love to share. If they’re eating potato chips, and take a swig of your soda… they’ll always leave some for you.
• There’s always room for ice cream.
• You can never have too many bouncy balls.
• If you fall down where no one sees you, wait until you have an audience before you start to cry.
• If Dad says no, ask Mom. If Mom says no, ask the grandparents.

Feel free to chime in with your own… I could go on all day. Go hug your kids and if you don’t have kids… call your folks.

Cornhole?

My neighborhood block party was held over the weekend. As usual, no matter how long we attempt to wait, we end up being some of the first people there. As I finished setting up my cooler and lawn chairs, my neighbor asked if I wanted to play “corn-hole”. What does that word conjure up for you? While it may make you chuckle like a 12 year old (I did), it’s actually a real game with rules, regulations, and even its own association.

Cornhole is a lawn game where players take turns tossing bean bags at a raised platform with a hole in the far end. My understanding is the game originated in the Midwest where the platforms are usually made of plywood and the bags are stuffed with feed corn – thus the name.

A corn bag in the hole scores 3 points, while one on the platform scores 1 point. The way we played, bags cancel each other out. For example, if Player A has three bags on the platform and Player B has two on… Player A gets 1 point. First to 21 wins.

My 8 year old and I decided that it would be fun to build a set, so we trekked out to Home Depot and bought the plywood, 2×4s, etc. and built a set together in the garage. Then we painted it. The hardest part was finding the bean bags. You can order them online rather inexpensively, but we wanted to play right away. I found a set at Sports Authority for $25! All in all, it ended up costing me around $75 for supplies.

Now if it would just stop hailing long enough for us to be able to play. LOL.