The Search for Shmoz
This morning on our show we had people calling in with their Grocery Store gripes. People who park their carts in the middle of the aisle, let their kids run wild, etc. Now I realize that I am in the minority of men (in many things-LOL), but I LOVE to grocery shop! While I am perfectly capable of going in with a list getting what I need and getting on the road, I actually enjoy walking the aisles, checking out the products, and finding fun new things to try. In fact, my adoration of all things food is probably why I am the designated shopper in my family.
This is not without its perils, however. My wife, God bless her, really goes out of her way to try to find new and inventive ways to feed us healthy food. That, in turn, can lead to some confusing moments of trying to find rare ingredients in the grocery store. My wife makes out her grocery list in a very specific way. She has categories mapped out: Meat, Veggies/Fruit, Dairy, Bread, etc. and a list of items under each. There will always be a list of items that don’t fall under these categories that she puts at the end and I have to try to find. It’s kind of like a scavenger hunt for food.
On one particularly memorable trip, I brought my daughters along. One pushes the cart, one commands the list, and I get the items for the cart. We were doing well until we came upon an item I’d never heard of before: SHMOZ. “What did you say?” I asked my daughter “Shmoz,” she replied, “S-H-M-O-Z” My little one started to giggle, “What the heck is shmoz?” she asks. I tell her I have no idea. I don’t even know where to begin looking. So I do another non-manly thing… I ask one of the store employees. “Where can an enterprising young man like me find some Shmoz?” After looking at me like I’m speaking a foreign language, he tells me he’s never heard of shmoz. Being the helpful employee he was though, he got on the radio and asked the manager. The manager’s reaction was surprisingly similar to my daughter’s: he giggled and said “What the heck is shmoz?”
At this point, I’m at the end of my resources and call my wife. I told her we got just about everything on the list, “but I couldn’t find shmoz anywhere and no one seems to know what it is.” “Shmoz?” she asks. Exasperated, I shout “Yes, shmoz! Its right here S-H-M-O-Z!”
“Oh,” she laughs “Shredded Mozzarella!”
I’m no longer allowed to shop solo.
[Shotgun aside: a terrific cookbook for healthy recipes that taste great is Eat Well, Lose Weight from Better Homes and Gardens. We eat from this cookbook at least 1-2x per week.]
